Nothing premeditated, edited or even thought about, really. Reading through some posts on the Icarus Project website last night and someone referred to themselves as "a muttering turnip" whilst on Quetiapine. I've been taking it for a month now and feel more genuinely suicidal than I have in two decades. Spent virtually all day yesterday sat staring at the computer listening to a playlist consisting of only two songs, "Flirted with you all my life" by Vic Chessnut & "Keep me in your heart for a while" by Warren Zevon. I know this is not good. Do I persist with a drug that seems to be making me want to kill myself far more enthusiastically than I did before I started it? Is this some iatrogenic horror or just some existential meltdown with the GOOD stuff you get with bipolar (yes, there is some - energy, creativity, reduced need for sleep) excised by the Quetiapine? Who knows...either way, my nightly dose may well be staying in the box tonight...
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